Creating Agreements: How to Prepare for an Empowered Return to Work as a Modern Mother

Mothers are often assumed to reconnect with where they left off before they went on maternity leave. However, they return to work as a new person, with new strengths but also new needs. Misaligned expectations can lead to uncertainty, frustration, and chaos while being on leave and when reintegrating to work.

Therefore, open conversations at work and at home are essential when preparing for your maternity leave. These conversations will help to turn expectations into clear, written agreements. Upon your return, these agreements need to be revisited and adjusted if needed.

6 Topics to Discuss

1. Inform yourself about your legal rights and your company’s leave policy (HR should have this information available for you)

2. Map out a timeline & plan with your manager

3. Align on your handover & cover with your manager

4. Discuss contact & communication during your leave with your manager

5. Address your needs & responsibilities upon your return with your manager

6. Discuss childcare & support options with your partner

Expectations vs Agreements

When your needs or boundaries aren’t openly discussed and understood, they’re merely expectations. Expectations reveal themselves in language such as ‘I assumed’, ‘I thought’, or ‘I was under the impression’. They tend to be unspoken and one-sided, while agreements are discussed openly and co-created.

Turning expectations into agreements helps you to create more clarity during your leave and upon your return, and is your first chance to renegotiate your boundaries.

Here’s how in 3 simple steps (example for creating agreements with your manager)

Step 1: Get clear on your expectations (what do you need/ how do you want your leave and return to look like)

Here are a few questions to consider:

Before you leave

a.     When will you go on leave? Can you work remotely/ reduced hours towards that date?

b.     How will your leave be communicated to the wider team?

c.     How will you stay connected/ communicate with your manager/team during your leave? (If you want that at all)

d.     Who will take over your work while you're away? And how will the handover (before and after your leave) be managed?

e.     When and how will you return: full-time/ half-time/ reduced hours for a period/ …

Upon your return

f.      What does your first day back at work look like? Will you have a meeting with your manager/ team/ HR?

g.     Will there be lactation facilities? What do they look like?

h.     How will your return be communicated to the wider team?

i.      What will your workload look like upon your return? Will you be expected to do any work travel?

j.      Will you be able to work remotely and/ or flexible hours?

k.     How will your role/ growth be fostered moving forward?

Step 2: Invite your manager for a conversation.

Communicate clearly that this meeting is about aligning on your (and their) expectations for your leave and return so they can prepare themselves for this conversation.

3.     Turn your (and your manager’s) expectations into a clear, written agreement.

Exchange your expectations with your manager. Make sure both sides truly understand and accept the terms. A ‘phased return’ can mean something different to you than to your manager. Clearly define what it will look like. Your final agreement should be explicit, mutual, and doable.

Don’t forget to agree on reassessing your agreement after you have returned and adjust it if needed.

Note that before having this conversation with your manager, it is important to inform yourself about your rights and your company’s leave policies. HR should have this information available for you.

Download my free Empowered Return guide for more info on the 6 topics to address (at work and at home) before going on your leave, and a framework for what’s next.

Take a first step: Where Are You Holding Expectations?

Before having a bigger conversation around your needs and expectations, you can put this to the test by assessing one specific expectation you might currently be holding (no matter if at work or at home) and turn it into an agreement with the respective person, following the three steps that I shared before. Expectations reveal themselves in language such as ‘I assumed’, ‘I thought’, or ‘I was under the impression’.

Examples for expectations:

• I thought there would be dedicated lactation facilities at my office.

• I expected my manager to inform my team about my leave and return dates.

• I was under the impression that my partner and I would split covering the sick days of our child.

• I assumed my partner would do the groceries.

Communicating your needs and boundaries can feel vulnerable. But the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

And if you’d love support with creating agreements to get your needs met at home and at work, book a free call with me to explore how I can support you!

Love, Isabel